Im thinking of leaving the art forum... please note that im NOT emo in regular. Happens sometimes in a while that i pour my heart out, but this is a big fish right here. Ive had two major outbreaks. The first one was this thread that i made as a blog a long time before NG had activated the site redesign. And now, this is my second.

Ive felt pretty low lately. Almost like my flesh is rotting away if i intend to stay there longer. The thing is, that i feel left out. Outcasted from the community. Im no longer any good use, not just in the forum.

Ive always loved the art forum. Ive been stickin to it for a year and half now. Ive tried to help making changes, make something that people would find good, to at least laugh about. That it makes people smile is all i ever want. Ive been persuaded to keep doing my stuffs from some certain persons and theyve told me that i already am creative. I thank them from the bottom of my heart. Because thats what ive wanted, that people know me for my creativity.

I got the feeling that no one there appreciate my work anymore, not even recognizing whenever i post. I know, it sounds fucking ridiculous. But personally, i frankly cant take it any more. That i keep making stuffs for blind eyes just tears me apart. I run on appreciation. Of course there have been fun sketching and drawing and participating in projects and such, but only whenever someone is there to see it. I dont seem to appeal to the community anymore. If the forum had a flusher, i wouldve most certainly been flushed out from all the other active artists. Like, i dont pump out that much art like semens racing out to eternity. But hey, im not blaming anyone at all. Its all my own fault because i allow myself to be overrunned. Therefore i dont see why i should keep hanging there like a dork. Either i stay in, or get bumped out.

I used to think of the art forum as a place for me to kick it. Not DA, neither SA or any other bigass art sites out there. But the NG Art Forum. The place that i truly belonged to. Ive been through different sites, tried to find a place that i could submit my stuffs at and call home. But now things have changed over the years, and it is now that i feel like im about to fall over. The art forum needs competition, and there have been a lot of it and thats good. But i dont think ill be able to follow things up anymore. I feel like i am outdated. In with the new, out goes the empty patron. There, im about to miss the reason for me to stay. But where should i go? I wont stop drawing though, but im rather fed up with trying to get attention. I am weak. I cant help it but to complain about how i feel, but i feel quite trampled. I start to think that no one wants to see my shit anymore, now that there are lots of good stuffs coming in. Believe me, ive learned from my last rant when everybody gave me good advices and showed me support, and all that have boosted my art ambitions enormously and i no longer doubt that i can do it. But i dont think anyone is interested in my stuffs anymore. I guess im unwanted now. Ill might as well just leave and forget about setting my foot in the art forum ever again. Who the fuck cares?

Id like to take a moment to give shoutouts to people whove been there for me, and other people that have inspired me as well:

PrinceFlea - Youve never failed at leaving good feedbacks and you always come up with some interesting perspectives. Theres no word to describe how much i appreciate you :)

MindChamber - You helped me up and kept me alive when i was down, and i will never forget that. It was really noble of you. I will always have respect for you bro, keep it real. I owe you a big one.

ZekeySpaceyLizard - ... *insert mushy stuffs here* So you have inspired me. Youre one helluva lizard... guy... whatever. I advice you not to look at me like that. You cookie butt.

Michael Swain - Other than just Blockhead business, youre such a swell guy. A good fellow to get along with. I admire your burning passion and the strong will to keep up your work no matter the obstacles that come in your way. No pain, no game huh?

Havayosunu - Good to know that im not the only Muslim around here to make artsy fartsy. I appreciate that you stand by my side showing support. Not to forget how enthusiastic you were back in the collab days, you were amazing ;)

Volit0 - You sure are one helluva cunning artist who have reached far as to get a frontpage feature with the success from your "*White'n'Nerdy*" collab. Personally, i like how you stay openminded.

bjmdtcjw - When the art forum collabs started rising, i were looking for collabs that didnt suck or eventually die. After many failed attempts at finding good collabs, yours seemed to do pretty well. You even made me a co-author of two collabs that scored well. It made me feel good indeed. Thanks man and congrats with the success.

TomAzza - I like your digital paintings. And thanks for all the support in the past. I havent seen you around in a long while, but never ever give up. Make a comeback! Capisce?

Razac - One thing that almost made me fall off my chair was when you revealed your past painting work comparing to your todays fine art, just to cheer me up. Also your PS works are kickass.

PandaMime - You are one of many who left me with spirit when i was depressed the first time. With long and constructive advices and points, you urged me to make a comeback. Dont think ive forgotten all that! xP

NewGroundsLvLER - As i thought people had forgotten all about it, you actually bothered to revive my depressing thread just to let me know that i didnt suck. You left some great advices in your post there. It brought a tear in my eye :')

Luis - If it wasnt for this hombre right here, i wouldve never been in the NG Sketchbook Tour 07. He gave me a chance to prove myself. Thats why i keep sending him chocolate bars every now and then as a sign of my gratitude. EAT UP YO CHOCOLATE BOIII.

Frolikyn - Another hombre of mine who watches me. We stay connected at DA. I cant wait to see more of your kickass pencil doodlidoo's with creatures and shit, and paint jobs. Keep at it man.

ALBQjew - A loyal chap of mine who has shown interest in my works. Also, i love the way he adds comical sense in his work. Every pic he submits gets me smiling off for 2 hours or such. Theres something in his pics that gets my attention very quickly. Also thank you for your support, it has really meant a lot for me :)

HahaBears - Far as i remember, youve respected me as a person. And you bothered to help someone like me when i was down. Thank you for your kind words, i go through your quotes sometimes in that thread when i need guidance.

StoneColdSoul - - Youre a toughass chick. Never been negative about my work, and you bothered to visit my art thread sometimes in a while to leave some posts. I think you handle your art pretty swell, and you hit the art forum up with style. A bit aggressive though, but i dont care. Im like that sometimes myself xP

I think that was all. As ive paid my respectful regards, i might leave the forum soon. I just dunno yet. I only picture myself rotting away and blown with the wind. Forgotten and paced out. I cant help feeling heartbroken. Therefore i reckon theres no place for me here anymore. The day when i say adios, i wont leave a trace behind me after that. Then everybody will forget about the fact that there was once a guy named Hammi who used to roam the art forum. And im sure no one would notice the itsy bitsy tiny change when im gone. Life goes on.

EDIT: Cookie butt...
EDIT: Another shoutout added