2009 is close now, and its probably already new year while you read this. Well still to all of you reading this, HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Ill just sum some shit up. Most of you might have had fun during christmas and all. Celebrated, eaten a lot of shit, jumped around with christmas spirit, drinking egg nod and forgetting to wipe that shit off your mouth later (ew), gotten drunk and having the cops to pick your ass up later at night, had a christmas turkey with a lot of air in it etc etc etc. Oh how much fun. Well, wanna know how MY days have been? Ill tell ya how ive been, BUSTER. My christmas days have been absolute SHIT. gaaaaaaaaaaasp. Go ahead folks and complain, im a violator of the so called christmas traditions. Ok seriously. This news post is a very sad one, so flee.
... everyone out yet?
Ok back to my news post. Its been a shitty month, even the month before. Ive been feeling downright bad. Ive had a bad halloween and a bad christmas. Why? Well because:
- ive had conflicts and ditched people who used to be my friends, and im feeling awful from these events
- i quit the art forum and left everything behind in shame
- ive lost all trust in people around me while thinking what the fucks next
- ive stopped doing art, im basically done for it
So whats with da long face ya say? ^Thats what. At a time when im supposed to be happy, i cant find any source of joy. What joy will new year bring me? More friends slipping through my fingers? More "friends" turning out to be blatant ass kissers? Alright thats what its basically about: FRIENDS. Ive had bad memories from the FRIENDS subject. Because thats what christmas is all about. Having fun time with your friends, clowning around with a big smile on the face. Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy.
Frankly this is just making me sick. Why fake my attitude just because its christmas? I have no reason. I cant even eat properly. Im simply depressed. Its increased over the last 2 months from sour events. All friends related. Me questioning their real motives, because ive become extremely skeptical over time. The thought of necessity about ditching friends is killing me softly. I no longer have reliable friends. I see their likes everywhere. I have no place in their hearts anymore... probably never was. Then theyre off celebrating while im rotting with a home baked cheesecake ive made for the new year occasion, and i sit back thinking: i wonder what theyre doing... right now. So goddamn depressing isnt it? Well THATS LIFE. GOTTA MOVE ONNNNNNNN. As long as it doesnt kill me, i will try moving on... with a hard spit ball stuck in my throat because i wish things were different. I really do...
Id like to take a moment to give out my thanks, this time to the old art forum regs who some of them later became my close good friends. We talk occasionally, sometimes every day. And it makes me extra happy. Theyre an interesting group of people. They are:
Wasim : meet the afghan, a highly potential animator. A collab master. He was the one who started dragging me in to his msn group convos where some of the original art forum regs were chatting. I owe it all to Wasim who gave me a face to these people. If it wasnt for him, i probably never wouldve kept in touch with any of them. I dont think they really cared, until i became a part of their everyday life lmao.
Havayosunu : the young turk with a comical artistic side. He saw something in me back in the days, and he expressed interest in how i was developing my art work. And he urged me to keep spinning my wheels, to keep expanding my skills. I liked his drawings as well and his "brotherhood" talk, so we became friends. We still talk today. Too bad he always has to leave in every convo. Hes a part of our friends group.
Gamers-Gear : the swede with excellent gamer expertise and digital vectoring skills. He got great plans ahead about his PTTM game (Pedal To The Metal). Shortly after i was introduced to Wasims friends group, Johnny boy here popped up (thats his real name). Apparently he thinks im a cool guy, and im pretty flattered. I still havent figured out for what reason he thinks i am cool lol. Also he just loves to occasionally link me info and plans about games, whether its about his game or some other releases from big companies. Hes a fan of Saints Roll 2 and Fallout 3 + millions of other games as well lmao. Even in my darkest times, hes a pretty good friend whos there for me so im taking that to heart. :)
Test-Object : the dutch yellow colored cubical life form with a strange ego, but still good at what he does whether its comics, flash submissions or other digital related art work. All done in true dutch/mixed style, kinda like Alfred! I honestly dont know where this fella came from... i mean, i used to see him on the art forum a lot back in 06. We werent really into each others (well i thought he was good at his collab parts), in fact we rarely talked on the forum. Even at the first group convos by Wasim, there werent any much... talk between him and me. That was until a year later, when he suddenly added me and im like wtf. Now he pops up sometimes saying hi and all. Err, ok. Sorry but, what? Well... ... ... hes quite jolly though, and i dont know where all that is coming from. But uhh, hes quite supportive now and depends on me like a friend. Thats okay i guess... but it better not have something to do with me and Swain, or imma FUCKIN SLAY DAT SQUARE ASS PUNK AND EET 'IM UP TILL I AASFGHFFDKHGØDS<insert violent noises> <even more noises> <a nd more> Kidding. Just take it easy alright. And stop kissing my ass, for whatever reason. Jeez.
Chrisseh-chan : the american sweetheart of the friends group... durr ok not that really sweet. Comic artist, and specialized in anime. Ridiculously skilled and used to be a super star at the old art forum (her thread is still active to this day lmfao). I used to admire her a year ago. And i still like what she makes because her work is so complete. She has a great talent. Also likes to ramble on about her life while the rest of us in the group have to listen to everything she says. GIRLSSSSSS. Cant live with them, or without them. We're not that really much into each others. But shes open for talk though, and its fun to hear her goin on about... a lot of different things. THOUSANDS. Then we joke around. Not really a friend, but its fun having her around so whatever its cool.
ChaosCrunchy : the american youtube pooper, the crunchy munch. Ive seen him participating in Chrisseh's fun thread for some time. And hes a nice fella. I wish we could talk some more, but he seems to be too busy doing something else instead. I understand. I bet itd be more fun if he was around to talk. He makes good YTPs though, i got one of his mixes in my favorites.
ThePsychoSheep : the bulgarian psycho sheep who tells people to shut up. I remember seeing him some time ago on the art forum, but it was in an msn group convo when i really met him. We didnt talk much either... but a year later, he watched me on DA. Unfortunately i wont be submitting or making more art anymore so itll most likely be a ghost town for the time to come. But he seems to have SOME interest since he watched me, so yeah thanks for the watch dude. Got decent digital work piling up there with good colors and all, so keep that up. He also likes to use anime emotes A LOT, just to add that in. He doesnt seem to be in mood for anything lately, so yeah whatever thats bothering him i hope he'll be able to cope with it. :(
And this is basically the whole group, few of the former art forum regs that ive kept in touch with in 2 years. If it wasnt for them, i wouldve been completely alone on NG and my downfall wouldve been quicker. I just wish they were still around at the forum while i was there... but thats irrelevant now, and its a lost cause.
Also some more shout outs to some few more old art forum regs:
TomAzza : the italian illustrator with a tight rep for his art work. Extremely... delicious paintings. He is one of many artists that i admire. And he came back just recently after a year of absence, and he checked back on me after a long time. He still encourages me despite after being gone for so long. A true artist to the bones. This guy is a hero lmao.
PrinceFlea - the cartoonist with a true artistic and creative mind (he doesnt realize it but ive witnessed it with my own eyes), who draws the most interesting and surreal concepts ive seen. He has nearly the ultimate mix of styles, all of them combined into a single force. Creating the most original and radical looking style around the art forum, which he has maintained for 2-3 years. He baffles me sometimes. ALSO, Flea has been the one who has continuously given me feedback and shown admiration for my work through all these years. I know ive given him shout out before, but this guy deserves so much more than just shout outs. I wanna give him so much for his endless support, for not forgetting me. My deepest respect goes to him.
Well enough of that shit. Ive made a cheesecake. NY style. Its damn delicious. CHEESY INDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED. And mighty. Me and my family enjoyed some slices, but its still too much. DAMN. Check out the snap shots ive taken!
Just so you can drool some more, here are pics from my very first cheesecake:
Yeah no more pics. Now go back to Yum 1. Horny bastard.
Also, i recently participated in "Lazy Birthday, Lazyfeet!", a birthday collab dedicated to a young artist/animator called Lazyfeet. He also used to be an old art forum reg, believe it or not. Anyways vote with your hearts.
Well thats all. Theres nothing much else to say now for me, so im just gonna wish you all a good year.
MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.